The Seven Great Spiritual Questions – 5 of 7

5. What does God want me to do?

This is a question I've been asking myself a lot lately. Since the disappearance of one of my beloved cats, Jeff, I have wondered what part of “the plan” this would fall under.

Does the Universe even have a plan? Well, I believe it does. All I have to do is take a look at how the world works to know there is careful planning involved. The Fibonacci Numbers are fascinating “evidence” of this plan to me (I don't claim to know the plan, so don't ask!). 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144...and so on ad infinitum. This sequence appears all over our natural world, for example, the arrangement of leaves on a stem, the fruitlets of a pineapple, the flowering of an artichoke, and even the pine cone. I'm not going to include the proofs here, because I am far from a mathematician, so I encourage everyone to read and research this phenomenon on their own.

So I ask the Universe, in all of its possibilities, where do I fit into its fabric? I seek, but how do I find? I read all sorts of holy texts, existentialist works, and meditate. I do Yoga, Reiki, and Qi-Gong...and it leads me to an answer. My answer. I believe that I have been written into the Universe's story, God's story, or woven into the fabric of All. I am here to bring light to the darkness. I am here to heal.

How I discovered this about myself comes from a long time of asking questions and pondering the nature of things. I believe in infinite possibilities. Going back to the sad tale of my missing cat, Jeff, provides some insight into how and what I believe.

All animals, including humans, tend toward growth when we are healthy, and tend toward wilting when we are sick. This sickness can invade us on more than just the physical level. We can be sick mentally and spiritually as well. My cat Jeff has a sickness on the mental level...he was abandoned as a 2-day old kitten and grew up in a cage at the shelter with very little human contact. There was just not enough time in the day for the volunteers and workers at the shelter to spend on him...so he became very wary of loud noises, deep sighs, laughter, and being petted. He refuses to be held and only trusts one entire human being in the world. My loving partner.

They've developed a special bond over the time he was here in the house. He was even able to spend most of the night sleeping by her side (which took a lot of trust on his part, not to mention a lot of love and kindness on hers). Then, one night, our building's fire alarm went off (our neighbors had a grease fire that got out of hand – no one was hurt physically, though), and we had to bring him outside. Controlled by his fear, he leapt out of my partner's arms and ran off...and hasn't returned since. We can't find him, or even hear him cry. He's just vanished. We are still going through the grief of not knowing his whereabouts, or if he is alive.

Being a healer, I send Reiki to his situation, that, no matter where he is, he is well, safe, and happy with his choice that was made out of fear. In his plan, the plan that God has for him, he is to run away...to learn lessons, I suppose. I believe that his fabric, like mine, is woven into the great pattern of the Universe. He has his own story, his own journey, that he must continue. The Dalai Lama once said it is difficult for some animals to think clearly, but they are capable of it (just think of the animals who have saved lives of human companions).

So many of us are like Jeff. We act reflexively out of fear of being hurt or further traumatized. We are stuck in our pasts and can't see our present. We don't accept responsibility for our selves. We have free will. Though the Universe does have a plan for all its creatures, we can choose whether we will work with that plan. Conflict arises when we rail against our plans...when we abuse each other, when we hurt ourselves...when we go against the design for which we were created.

Whenever I go against the plan, things around me get very chaotic...and I get very stressed out – usually because I'm not listening to that still inner voice that gently guides me in the right direction. Recently, while feeling chaotic, and feeling sorry for myself, I emailed my mother (who is a very spiritual person, a loving Christian, and just a generally tough cookie) that I was running out of patience. Her reply was blessed, and exactly what I needed to hear. “One thing about having hard times, is it makes us more resourceful and more successful in our lives. You both (my partner and I) have so much to offer this sad world of ours.”

I realized, through her words, that she was right, and I was getting closer to fulfilling my purpose. If I looked at it differently, through fresh eyes, rather than self-pitying eyes, I could see my goals coming together. It gave me the boost I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing things that add joy to the world (the last thing we need is more sorrow, right?). God (however you know the name) has infinite patience while we figure out what we're here for...but we don't have infinite time to figure it out (or maybe we do...hmmm...topic for later discussion?), so we need to take responsibility for our selves, and do what we can to make a positive impact.

The purpose you were built for belongs to you, and you alone. Seeking it is entirely your journey, your responsibility.

Time to go hunting. ;)

Namaste,
The Transpersonal Psychologist